Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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