I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
