PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
