i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
