who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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