My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
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Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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