i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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