Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
