it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
