Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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