i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
