Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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