Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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