Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
