Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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