wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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