i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
