I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
