I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
