Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this boner is exhausting
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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