I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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