Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
