Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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