I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
