I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
