i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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