sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
