I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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