So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
