Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
