Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
