Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
