Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
