idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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