Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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