She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
