There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
