What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
