I'm lost and stupid without you.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
