Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
