i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
