Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
