Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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