yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We got so high we made milksteak
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
