And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I love having hate sex.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize