i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
