I wish I only lived at night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
