i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
