So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Randomize