problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
