im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
