Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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