Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
