you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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