If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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