I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize