worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
