hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
