I am full of burrito and curiosity
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
