420 ftw
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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