I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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