Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
