We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
