try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
