I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We have started to decorate penises.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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