idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
